Love, life & sex

Yeah really I did.

The man I spent the last 17 years with, raised children with, built a life with was found in the casual encounters section. Two kids, a lot of love, laughs and a fucking endless shitpile of drama and fights all brought to life one drunken Sunday many moons ago.

I was single, dating and looking for my kind of person but coming up wanting. I had gotten to the point where I had started to lose hope of meeting anyone cool. Maybe American guys all fucking suck? Maybe what I needed to do was give up on this tedious bullshit and just pack up and more back to England, find a nice working class guy from my neck of the woods, someone more like me. Ideally a plumber or an electrician because I was getting well sick of not having any help around the house and those guys are handy and make good money too. I got moving quotes, started talking to friends back in England planning my exit strategy from my 7 year American adventure.

Trying to find love in the Midwest surrounded by frat boys and bros when you are a pale, weird eccentric Brit…..It was tedious and depressing. Dating actually fucking sucks doesn’t it?! I don’t know a single person who actually seems to enjoy it. Now almost two decades later it is even worse. People treat each other like trash. Disposable, replaceable, swipe, swipe, swipe until you don’t even see the person on the screen. An endless algorithm of faces, moving at lighting speed across your screen as you brutally chuck em to the left in a heap at your feet. As I get back out there post breakdown of my marriage I can categorically tell you I’m not a fan. Yet I do it anyway, joining the rest of the world in this strange new online scene because how the fuck else do you meet anyone these days? I can barely make eye contact with people when I’m out let alone make connections that could lead to romance.

That particular late summer day in 2007 I had been out with one of my best mates, we had gone antiquing up north in the country, mooching around, driving, talking bollocks and having a great afternoon. Upon our return it seemed wise to not let this perfect girly day come to an end yet so we hit our favorite gay bar downtown for endless margaritas and some Kylie Minogue banging out hits through the speakers. After a few hours we took the party back to my house and carried on drinking polishing off a a bottle of wine between us in my garden as the sunset on what had been a really lovely day.

Back then the Craigslist personals sections was still a thing and it was one way people were finding hookups and casual sex. Some of the ads were hilarious, some were filthy and depraved. I have no idea how that topic came up in conversation that night but pretty drunk old us thought we would get online and have a good old chuckle reading all the sordid and sad requests there. It was the Wild West of hook ups and the appetites of the people on there were broad, often kinky and some down right depraved. We particularly enjoyed the profiles with dick pics attached, it was fucking hilarious and grotesque sitting there rating cocks for size, length and general attractiveness from the safety of my home office. As we scrolled, giggling and quite wasted at this point we came to a post for a sadist looking for a sub for sex and domination. It was on the surface just like every other ad, a dumb horny dude looking to live out his fantasy’s with a chick desperate enough to reply. Except it was exceptionally well written, funny, witty and intelligent. Something about it made me pause. I’ve always been a bit of a risk taker in my sex life, always down for a one night stand, fucking strangers, waking up in a camper van parked on city side street next to a guy I shagged on a dare, going home with a Brazilian metal band I just met, doing the walk of shame back to my mates house after a night on a mattress in the east end with a dude that I’m pretty sure had Tourette’s. I didn’t do drugs, I worked hard, was a responsible trustworthy person, but my Achilles heel always has been drinking and sex.

Bored, single and horny I decided to reply to that Craigslist hook up casual encounter. Faceless potential fuck friend emailed me the next day. He wanted to boss me around, tell me to wear stockings with no panties while I was out grocery shopping, to dirty talk and get me all hot and wet then not let me masterbate until he told me I was allowed to. And I fucking loved it. I’ve had a bit of a sub streak in me for as long as I can remember and got off on being told what to do in the sack. Probably because I’m an uptight, control freak in the rest of my life. Or maybe it’s just some good old daddy abandonment issues or some other childhood trauma shit. Who knows and who cares, I like what I like.

This goes on for a week or so, things were fizzling out with Huskyboy after our very brief flirtation with romance and I was quite happy for the distraction. We agreed to meet up at my favorite bar. It was early September and still pretty hot out. I was wearing super short denim cut off shorts and black sheer tights, high heeled studded black boots, I most likely had on a plaid shirt as it was my uniform for years. Honestly I haven’t changed much, I still dress in the same style now, leopard print, dresses, short shorts and skirts, things that show off my long legs or highlight my fair skin. Typical child of the 90s rock chick attire essentially though a rather aged rock chick now. I walk in the dark bar on that Tuesday night scanning the room for who my new online Dom could be. it wasn’t super busy in there just a dozen or so people at tables and a couple sitting at the bar. Including in man sitting alone, baby faced and chubby, spectacled and nerdy.

Oh fuck, was that him?! This was SO not going to work if it is. He was not my type in any way shape or form. Bollocks! I guess I have to at least go talk to him, It would be really mean not to. I was bored and lonely and horny and he had been fun online fantasy fuel for a week so I figured what the hell, might as well have a drink and a chat. We ended up sat for two hours talking and laughing, he took the pure piss out of me from the second I sat down. He was funny, so fucking funny, very clever, charming and he had the most cheeky shit eating smile. It turned out to be a pretty fun night with a surprisingly interesting guy who was filthy as fuck and sharp as a knife. Despite being literally my physical opposite in every way we were actually more alike that I ever would have expected when I walked in that night. At the end of the evening he walked me out to my car, me a bit tipsy by then I thought “fuck it might as well make this worth my time” So I kissed him. It was good, very good.

Did we fuck? I’m sure you a wondering….

No we did not, not that first night. But every night after that yeah, t was wild, it was intense, I was often covered in bite marks and bruises having spent half the night tied to a bed and being railed for hours. He choked me, slapped me, made me crawl on my hands and knees to worship at his feet and suck his cock. He was every thing I wanted and more sexually. Maybe it was all the fucking messing with my brain chemistry but I fell for him within weeks. He owned my pussy by day two, all it took for him to win my heart was him holding my hand in his car while he drove us out to dinner on our first proper date. He became my favorite person almost instantly. My wild and crazy lover and the sweetest nicest man I had ever been around. To this day I will never forget that moment when he took my hand in his for the first time, It changed the course of my life instantly. Our love might have died now and our story might be over but it’s still a story I’m happy that I got to have. Cheers to you darlin, it’s been a wild ride.